Ben and Molly

Ben wanted to act natural, but what was acting natural. Not giving a damn about Molly's past?

Ugly thoughts filled his head as he went through the emotions of what this Joel was about. He'd never seen him before. He wasn't one of those guys that they both knew from high school. Where did he come from? And what was he to Molly?

"He's nothing." She said first thing when they got in the car to drive home. Of course, she had to drive because he'd had too many beers with Steve. Ben rubbed his tired eyes, thinking things could not be that perfect for Steve, who made over Evie the entire night. It was as if Steve had something to prove. What was he suppose to do? Have Molly in his lap, the entire time for a KISS OFF of some kind? Weren't they a little too old for these kind of games? Still he'd wanted to prove to Joel that Molly was with him now. Yet, maybe he went too far. As if Molly was his.

She drove home. The silence wore on. There was a pain behind Ben's eyes. His throat ached with an emotion as if he would never be absolutely who he should have been to her. Yet, he had to believe it wasn't too late, for the both of them. He had to stop thinking about the past.

"Look, I made mistakes too." He finally said when she turned off the engine in her parents' driveway. "Its just, I can see, when I look at this..this Joel...its like..you must have been the best he ever had. Or something." The words felt so raw as he winced. His eyes were wet. It all caught him off guard.

Molly wouldn't look at him. She looked so sullen. Angry, that he'd waited until now to say anything.

"I feel like I owe you something." Ben gritted.

Molly shook her head.

"Yes." He tensed and he took her hand, so small but he knew she was a weapon to be reckon with in the kitchen. "You could have..you could...have..not waited for me. But you did. And maybe, you should have kicked me in the shins..way before now...to take notice." He looked at the pale fingernail polish that wasn't quite perfect. Still, her natural ability to be herself shined through.

Ben moved closer. Yes, he truly embraced the mess that could make or break a relationship. She had to know that he wasn't going anywhere. He kissed her and soon they were making up and making out. It was better than he even knew... with the potential to evolve into something pure bliss. He'd always wanted to have intercourse in the backseat of a car.

Just then a tap came to the passenger window. The fire simmered between them. Ben looked back to see a police officer peeking in.

Ben almost let a few foul words slip as they untangled. Molly was polite enough to roll down the window to tell him, everything was OK.

"Your parents were worried. Wondering why you're not home yet." The police officer knew her mother.

Molly let out a sigh as soon as they were relieved of any more questions.

"That's it! We have to have our own place. I don't care if we have to live right across the hall from Steve and Evie. We have to get out of here!" She looked at Ben as if there was no more time to play games.

Ben and Molly

Molly wasn't in the mood to talk about Joel. In fact, no one was in the mood. They were bowling. It was a game. And apparently, they were losing. First time out. Gutter ball.

This didn't settle well with Ben, he glared at her as if they couldn't let Steve and Evie win. Naturally, those two were oblivious that anything bad might be happening between Ben and Molly. He walked by her as if she better stay out of his way. Strike on the first ball. He'd make up for her..digression.

She felt hurt. One quick look, behind her and Joel sent a smile and wave. She did not respond. Exactly. When Ben was done racking up the points, he plopped himself next to her with his arm around her. It looked so perfect, but Molly knew it wasn't.

"Another beer?" Offered Steve. He was paying this round. Ben shook his head no, as the bowling balls kept a spontaneity of their own. Molly thought she might go crazy.

There went Evie, all smiles. Strutting her stuff in her skinny jeans. Molly rolled her eyes at that. Was she expecting every person to watch in the building? Steve cheered her on as if they might be the only two playing. Possibly, they were at this game.

The two hours they spent there felt like a horrible eight hour day to Molly, who noticed her lips were chapped as they got ready to go. Of course, Ben was still giving her the silent treatment. She knew with her high score of sixteen hadn't helped much either. At least they were leaving.

"Hey, call me sometime." Joel grinned from ear to ear. Molly scowled back. He was not suppose to remember. Anything. He was drunk that night. Very drunk. What did he think happened? That one off night. She did not remember it all romantic. She almost threw up on him.

However, she didn't want to stop and ask Joel.

"You, have his phone number?" Ben asked as quietly as possible on the ride home. They were in the backseat, separated by the carseat.

"NO." She mouthed back.

Of course, she eyed Steve trying to make out with Evie ,who was driving them home.

"Quit!" She flung her hand back, the car coming to a halt, and told him to buckle up, or they were going nowhere.

Silently,  Molly pleaded with God in her head, to get them home. Safely. But then what?

Ben and Molly

Ben was doing his best to not look pessimistic. To go with the flow. To be a part of the crowd. Maybe the in crowd.

Of course, Steve knew everyone. Ben was thinking his friend must be in the wrong business. He was a natural politician. Steve never met a stranger he didn't like. On the other hand, Evie hated everyone. It was a surprise they were in her good graces.

Yet, he kept smiling there at the bowling alley. While they went to get beers, the girls went to get shoes.

"JOEL." From the sound of Molly's voice, it gave Ben a jolt. He looked up to see the lanky blond at the counter all smiles to see Molly. Ben stopped what he was doing and observed.

There was something odd about this Joel. Ben blinked trying not to be agitated. Molly was all clumsy, suddenly. Was that a genuine smile or was she faking it?

"Who is that?" Ben asked as soon as they had a moment, with the bowling balls that Molly was soon checking out.

"No one." She shook her head as if she could keep a secret.

"Oh, its someone. He knows you. Where do you know him?" He didn't mean to sound jealous, but he knew all of Molly's friends. They knew the same people from high school. This guy was a little older. He wasn't exactly in the circle of friends they knew. But there might be something slightly shady. After all, he worked in a dark bowling alley where only the lanes lit up. Maybe he taught her how to bowl. Maybe she'd had an insane crush on him when she was twelve.

"Its nothing." She scoffed as if he shouldn't bring this guy up. "Just ..just stop looking at him." She glared as she picked up the lightest ball she could find, it was pink and probably for pre-schoolers.

"Well? He's looking at you." Ben winced, ready to go over and ask this Joel a few question. "Want me to tell him to leave you alone?"

"Ben?" She looked at him as if he'd really lost it. "He's not doing anything. Have you had too much to drink?"

"Of course not." But he was in a huff. Maybe he'd leave the beer alone. "You want a cola?" He supposed she was right.

"Sure." She nodded.

He grabbed a random bowling ball and took it to their lane then went back to get them some fountain drinks. Finally, he plopped down and found that the soda pop was refreshingly satisfying. Although, he found himself glancing over at the guy by the counter with that sheepish grin of his. He was watching Molly. He could sense it.

She looked at Ben out of the corner of her eye. Even she knew Joel was watching her.

Ben and Molly

Molly wondered if the bowling would ever happen. Evie got to talking about the baby while the guys started drinking a British beer that Steve knew of while he was in England when his dad worked at a base overseas.

Molly did her best not to be annoyed with the little shoe box apartment. Peyton had his own room. It was a two bedroom. It looked like a motel room to Molly. Except, there was a little galley kitchen. Counters on both side. Molly leaned on one while Evie leaned on the other watching Peyton put some puzzle together.

"Once we get Peyton over to my parents, we can stay out all night." Evie beamed. "I would have gotten him there already, if they weren't buying groceries. I so love my weekends free."

Molly nodded.

"Yeap." Molly faked a smile. Was that how it worked? Grandparents did that for their grandchildren. Every weekend?

Then Evie went into great detail how she was almost a body waxer. Now she was a blood technician down at the clinic. She'd failed at beauty school. Of course, she looked as if she could have worked at a salon with her thick dark lashes and her painted pink lips. Her dark hair was in a French braid. Molly wondered if they were going bowling or to a disco.

Molly looked in the livingroom. The guys were heavy into a video game, blasting thing right and left. Molly winced.

Evie made a quick phone call. Her parents were home so she was ready to load up Peyton.

"LET'S GO, STEVE!"  Evie demanded then. He winced back as if he didn't want too.

"Now." She eye-balled him. So he put the game on pause. Finally, they squeezed into Evie's little sports car. She did the driving. After all, she was the designated driver.

Ben and Molly

Ben was glad to be working. The pay wasn't bad. Neither were the benefits. Of course, there was Steve to put up with. Which meant, listening to a lot about Evie.

"You sure, you're happy?" Ben didn't think Steve honestly trusted her. She'd been kind of mean to him in the past.

"Why couldn't I be happy with her?" Steve winced back as if he might be in some sort of dream world with her. "I got my kid. She's family, you know."

Ben nodded, thinking he was trying to get away from everything like that with his own family. The obligations. Even the noise.

Of course, there was Molly's own parents to put up with. He thought half the time, her dad was pretty much a baby about things.

"How does he get away with that?" Ben didn't take to kind how her father left everything for her mother to do, which in turn, turned out to be Ben's TO DO LIST.

"Get away with what?" Molly seemed oblivious to her Dad's attitude too. Was it just Ben? Or was her Dad taking it just too easy.

"He has a bad back." Molly reminded him.

"Yeah, and I might get one too with all the crap I'm doing around here." Ben said without even thinking one night when they were getting ready for bed. Now she was offended.

She eyeballed him. "I know he's not perfect." She hugged herself tight. "But he's my Dad."

"Crap," Ben said under his breath, not wanting to start a disagreement. "Its just..I'm working now. I'm..I'm on my feet a lot. I thought I'd just be doing touch up paint jobs on this..hotel, but I'm having to do some major painting, you know." Ben fumed.

He shook his head, remembering how that old receptionist lady about fired him because she thought he had a milk shake in his hand instead of a Styrofoam cup of paint that he was taking to touch up on one of the suites.

Ben was putting in a hard days work, and this was the thanks he got. Wanting him to do all those little odd jobs around the house while her Dad lounged around with the paper and watched all his favorite comedy shows in the basement.

"I know we have to get out of here." Ben told her as if that was the trick.

She put her arms around him as if that would be a dream come true. As much as he loved the weight of her pressing against him, Ben wished he knew where to go. He certainly didn't want to be telling stories like Steve.

They had to be different, than those two.

"I told Steve we'd go bowling with him and Evie." He'd waited until bedtime to tell Molly. Of course he knew that look of hers when she looked up at him.

"Fine. Maybe he knows of a place we could move into." She kissed him before he had time to think about it.

Ben and Molly

"So?" Rocco looked at Molly suspiciously as she was trying to get a vat of vegetable soup going with the leftovers in the kitchen where she worked. "Anything interesting happening?"

"No, not really." She was oblivious to the fact that he was talking about Ben. He really hadn't dwelt on the presence of  Ben. "Oh." Molly winced as she put the diced carrots in before she started on the potatoes. "You mean, Ben?"

"Is that his name?" He looked up from his chopping, onions scattered about the heavy cutting board.

It was true. Molly hadn't officially introduced them. She wasn't sure she had too. Molly nursed her bottom lip. Was Rocco upset with her?

"Well, we are together." She said as if that was sufficient.

"Going out?" He wanted to know.

"Something like that. You know, sleeping, eating, everything that comes with it, when you live with someone." She shrugged.

"I see, and your parents are OK, with that?" Rocco winced. He looked so hideous in his hair net. Molly couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, they are fine with it. Dunno, about his parents. But you know," Molly sighed. "He's got a job. I think we might be on to something."

"Like marriage?" Rocco wanted to know as he stopped chopping.

"Well, must we label it? Exactly?" He made it sound like a plight of some kind. "I dunno. We could. We'll see." It was all so early to tell. But they'd been together going on 3 months now. Funny, it seemed yesterday that he'd stayed.

She remembered Ben talking about that wedding he was supposed to be the best man in. Had it already happened? She pondered a bit, wondering if that would make them want to get married if Ben was a part of a wedding now.

It was warming up outside. Spring was early. It was as if their life was between something thawed and half-baked, maybe. Molly went back to work. They were on their way to getting dinner ready. And to think she couldn't wait to see Ben when she got home. Really, Rocco was so yesterday. Ben was all she ever thought about now.

Ben and Molly

It didn't take much to talk Ben in to seeing Steve about a job. As it was, he'd done just about everything on a honey-do list that Molly's Mom had kept since 2010.  Possibly, he cleaned the gutters, moved the fallen limbs from the tree out front and even made a new gate for the back yard..all to get in their good graces. But after awhile, he did it because Molly's folks had a place that was falling apart.

Granted, it was weird, yet not much different from being at home. Kind of. Only he wasn't having to take a foster kid here and there, nonstop on his visits home. True, it was good to get away from them. Of course, he got several guilt trips, threats and so on from his parents.

As it was, his mother gave him the ultimatum. He'd abandoned them, so therefore, he'd better not want anything from them. So then came the depression. This was not some sort of vacation. He supposed it was a choice and when Molly mentioned Steve's so called offer...what else was he going to do?

"I bet you could get on at the grocery store." Molly looked at him as if that wouldn't be so bad. He'd tried at the nearby computer security place, but they weren't hiring. He supposed that would have been too easy.

"I just need something ..so..so we can get out of here." He looked around her room now. He was getting pretty used to the bed. Although, it would have been nice to have some fun, all on their own. Which meant sex in the morning or practically anytime. Now, they were lucky if they could sneak in a pleasurable time at two in the morning which did nothing for either of their REM.

Of course, they'd bickered over who was going to hear them at ten at night when they first went to bed. It was something along the lines that her Dad's hearing was gone. And the TV was so loud, who was listening to them?

He won Molly over ever so often. But then it would go back to finding each other well after midnight. Not that he was timing it or had an alarm. There was no fixed science to their love life.

"Fine." Molly looked pissed though. "That'll mean we'll have to start...doing things with Steve and Evie." She scoffed.

"What is so bad about that?" He winced back. As if this was a holiday for him, being at her mother's beckoning call for groceries, to reaching for all those things she couldn't reach in the kitchen. They soon made up, and it was back to the daily rituals of sneaking some of their own passions at Molly's house.

"So how do you feel about working with flat screen TVs?" Steve asked when they met up for lunch the next day.

Just as Ben remembered, Steve was as slick as if he were ready to take on the world, ever so perfectly. His blond hair cropped nice. Actually, too good to be true. Ben knew how drunk he could get. Maybe things had changed.

"I dunno. I put in my parents and fixed it up to the cable." Ben shrugged as if it wasn't that difficult.

"We have troubles with TVs. They go out at the hotel. You know, you'd have to change them out. Clean the pool. A little touch up paint jobs. Maybe some grounds keeping. Whatever." Steve shrugged as they grabbed steak burritos at Taco Bell.

"I think I could do that." Ben nodded.

"Sweet." Steve nodded as he ate. "You got transportation?"

Ben told him he did.

"All righty then." Steve grinned. He was having troubles with his own truck. "Maybe I could catch a ride with you."

Ben thought now that might have been the only reason he got the job. Steve needed someone to take him to work.

Ben and Molly

If only Molly could be as cool, calm and practically asleep...like Ben.

He needed a job. If he didn't have a job, how could he stay? She was in a tizzy, perhaps. A slow one at that. But she thought of it at work. Even at the grocery store. There was Steve, feeling avocados.

"Hey." She smiled, trying not to be that happy to see him, but it had been weeks since they'd talked.

"Hey, what are you doing?" He smiled at her. His blond hair was cropped back. He was always dandy for work. She noticed the bag of Huggies in his cart. She guessed Evie moved back. Perhaps was not the time to see if their were anything Ben might could find at the huge hotel where Steve worked.

"Well, uh.." She kept eying the Huggies. "See, you and Evie must be making a go of it, again." She gritted a smile. Evie was Steve's so called girlfriend and the mother of his child. He'd been crazy about her once, but she went a little evil on him, once Gavin was born. She gave him a black-eye. Went home to her parents.

"Yeah, her parents, are kind of pissed. She's not exactly happy with them." He shrugged, as if he didn't have a choice in the matter.

"And you make her happy?" Molly smiled with a shrug.

"Well...Gavin's walking." Steve was even lipped. "I feel like I missed out, on a lot."

"Ben moved in." She left out her parents' part.

"Really? Big Ben who broke up the dog fight at Rick's party, that one time?" He grinned as if he remembered it like yesterday. As of yet, Molly never heard that story. Was Ben that big?

"Uh..." Molly cleared her throat. "Ben Hanson?" She winced hard then.

"Yeah, that one. I remember when you two were together." He grinned then as if they'd always been a couple.

"Well.." She'd let that go. Let him think what he wanted. "Ben needs a job. Know of anything?"

"Maybe." He grinned as if he might take a roadtrip with Ben. "We are in dire need of handymen."

"Really?" Molly couldn't help but smile. She couldn't help but think her work was done about this situation of Ben's. She sighed. Molly just hoped Ben would go for it.

Ben and Molly

If only he'd been a rocket scientist, this might be done already and Ben would be in bed with Molly right now. But as they say, Rome was not built in a day and how long did it take to find matching sheets for a regular sized bed?

Molly was stuck with her Mom in the linen closet, and he'd been wrestling the bed, mostly on his own. Her dad said his back was troubling him. So was Ben's, after all said and done.

It all started when he saw the mess in her room. He started carrying it to the livingroom in loads.

"Some of those clothes are clean!" Molly spoke up a little too late.

"Maybe you should wash them, again." Ben suggested. He hoped it sounded like a solution.

Of course, by the time he got her little slim twin sized bed cleared from the room, and all those heart shaped pillows of her's gathered in a trash bag, it was time to drive over to get the bed from the neighbor down the street. Molly said she'd help.

"Have your parents called?" She wanted to know on the ride over.

"I dunno." They had, but he wasn't answering.

"I bet they go GPS on you." Molly sounded so certain. Ben rolled his eyes.

Of course, Doris, her mother's best friend,  had to feel his biceps once they arrieved. She was full of laughs.

"I bet he played football." Doris told her husband. She was more giddy than a teenager. It was a little embarrassing, but Ben managed the bed mostly on his own from the basement. Their son had left for California to be with his band.

Molly did try to help, he guessed. She was trying now with her mother. Ben could hear Molly trying to tell her Mom that white sheets were just fine. But her mother couldn't bare to part with their great grandmother's sheets. Finally, they'd settle with purple on bottom and pink on top.

"Its cold in that room." Her mother reminded her.

"I know, Mom. Its not gonna be a problem." Molly snapped.

It was well after midnight now. His cell was buzzing as he helped Molly dress the bed. Honestly, he didn't know what she was doing, but he tried as the elastic from the sheets kept fighting to not stay on.

"You better answer it." She looked at him. At least her mother wasn't watching them. Finally.

"OK." He clicked on to answer. "Mom, I'm all right. Just..just staying over at a friend's." He listened to her rant about how he wasn't being very thoughtful, lately. What had happened to him?

"A friend's house!" Molly was a bit peeved, maybe. She made a silly face.

"I'll tell them tomorrow." He reached for her across the bed and kissed her sweet lips. "I promise."

Just as they'd made the bed, with a butterfly comforter and all, Molly pulled the sheets back as if it were time to jump in. So he undressed as she pulled on some flannel bottoms and a pink tank top.

"Don't you think you're over dressed?" She looked as if she was getting ready for an emergency while he didn't have a problem shedding his clothes. The ice cold room was refreshing.

"This is what I sleep in." She looked a little timid.

"That's not what you had on the last time." He reminded her with an impish grin.

She gave him a glare. "Just turn off the light."

He did and she scrambled her clothes off.

"Well, I would have liked to seen that with the lights on." Ben told her. Their bodies almost entangled just as her mother opened the door a crack.

"How's the bed?" She wanted to know.

"Its..its great." Ben sighed as he hugged Molly close, close enough to be in the middle something in ten seconds.

"Mom, go to bed!" Molly ordered. Her mother shut the door tight.

"Does this mean, we're not doing it tonight?" As it was, all systems were go on his end.

"No."

"OK, No ..as in we are not doing it or No, as in... of course we are?" Ben needed some clarification, yet he planned to persuade her one way or another. Naturally, the bed had a tiny squeak. But not bad. It wasn't awful. Possibly, not perfect.

She pulled the sheets over her and was on top of him, planting a kiss on him which meant locking herself in place.

"Thank you." It felt lame to say, but he couldn't quite believe this was happening. His back ached between his shoulder blades, yet he wasn't going to dare let that stop the moment ahead.

Ben and Molly

"He's having problems, Mom." Molly looked over her shoulder. Ben was being good on the couch playing with her fluffy orange tabby Tybalt. Although, the cat thought it was a fight and he was winning, clawing and biting at Ben's hand as he gave Tybalt a tummy rub. "At home."

"Oh? Like what?" She wanted to know as she was putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

"His family. You know, problems. They don't understand him. He doesn't..He doesn't like his major." Molly couldn't think of anything else to say about the matter.

"What's he gonna do?" She stared at him.

"I said he could stay, until he found something." Molly shrugged. "With me. It wouldn't be forever, or anything. You know, just for a little while."

"I see. But your bed isn't big enough for the two of you." She closed the dishwasher door.

Molly choked on a laugh. Was her mother really listening to her? Molly eyeballed her as she listened. "So? He can stay?"

"Your father really needs someone to clean the gutters. Could he do that?" She suggested.

"That's all he needs to do?" Molly hated to smile too much. Possibly, her mother drank too much wine at dinner. It didn't seem possible. Her Mom was always worried about her wear-about. She hated it, if Molly was out too late.

"At least I'll know where you are." She sighed. She didn't ask about marriage or anything else. "I'll talk to your father. Maybe I'll call my best friend Doris. They might have a bed you two could use."

Molly turned and went straight to the couch to save Ben from the cat.

"This is really weird." She glared at him. "But my Mom is OK with you moving in."

"Well, we're not in high school, anymore." His shrug was a playful smile. "Look, lets give it a week, and if its not gonna work..then..."

"You have to clean out the gutters. She's expecting you to clean out the gutters." Molly fessed up as she scooted the cat away and sat next to him, holding his hand. She looked at his big fingers as she felt the softness of his inner wrist next to hers. It was true happiness. It was. They hadn't even had sex, this time. "My room might get a make over too." She smiled brightly. Of course, she wasn't sure they could even get in to her bed with all her clothes on the floor.

Ben and Molly

Ben did not like what he saw.

It took him most of the week to get up the courage to find Molly at work. First he was going to play hard to get after he didn't hear from her. He could play that game. The more he waited, the madder he got. He wasn't exactly sure the reason why, but it was set in his mind. She was what he wanted.

His mother could talk his ear off if she wanted, yet he was not listening. Instead, he was thinking what to do. How he'd act if he saw Molly, again. How could he not over react?

 When he saw how she smiled at that co-worker in the kitchen, from the empty dining area, he almost lost it.

"Excuse me," Ben said ever so quaintly when he peeked in from the kitchen door.

Of course, she looked at him as if he'd interrupted something while she was working with steaming trays of an apple cobbler and possibly mushy broccoli.

"What are you doing here?" She looked stunned.

"You work here?" First he was going to mention something about visiting a great aunt, but he came closer. Was it really her under that white hat and chef's jacket?

That impish smile of hers, got him every-time.

"When do you get off?" He wanted to know.

"Another two hours." She shrugged.

"I just dunno know.. if I can wait that long." He grinned as he came over and swept her off her feet.

"Ben!" Her little squeal didn't protest much. She looked to her partner and told him she needed to take five minutes, if she could. Molly took him to the freezer.

Naturally, Ben shivered in the cold and hugged her quick. Kissing her before she could fuss about it.

"Why didn't you take my calls?" He finally asked hugging her tight.

"I've been busy." She wouldn't look him in the eye.

"Is that really it?" He didn't believe her.

"I dunno." Suddenly, she seemed younger than he remembered. How could that be? He was remembering someone who knew what she wanted and could easily persuade him into anything.

"I want to come over tonight." He just said.

"And do what?" She rolled her eyes. "Talk like that, you sound like you could move in."

"And you find that funny?" His lips curled up at the corners. "Maybe your parents wouldn't care."

She pressed her lips tight. He wrestled his hands behind her.

"I'm gonna wait for you. We'll figure this out, because I'm not going anywhere."

"Uh-huh." She laughed at him as if this was the best joke he'd ever told.

"I'm not lying. I swear. We are gonna be together." Ben was serious. His tender shaved face grazed her cheek.

"But you have school." She whispered as if they might as well hog tie him at his parents house and drop him off at the University.

"There are online classes." Compromises. That's what it would take.

"And my parents would want a free-loader?" She pursed her lips so, as if he would live at her house and go to clown school.

"I have skills." He grinned.

She laughed. He hugged her harder to stay warmer. They kissed as if to rekindle a heat in the frost. It was definitely the start of something. And Ben really wanted to start something.

Ben and Molly

"Hey, look what I found." Rocco flashed a grin. His teeth were  perfectly straight. He handed over the Starbuck's gift card to Molly. "I'll never use it."

He was like that. Always brightening her day at work. Possibly, he was the best work husband in the world. That's what he was. Molly knew. They got a long, so well. She felt as if she knew his dog Ollie that he talked of a lot, and his sister's kids. He really was a regular kind of guy, even if he looked as if he could make an exquisite Italian lover, if ever given a chance.

Although, Molly knew she'd never know him, that way. It might mess up this. What they had going here, in the kitchen. Honestly, he made her day by his presence. She only wished she could be the friend he really deserved.

Sure, she listened. How his blond lab was on a diet. How Ollie got in a fight with a German Shepard and won. Even though, Rocco wished his friend's dog liked Ollie. He didn't want Ollie getting a bad reputation.

She slipped the gift card in her back pocket, as she tended to chopping up some carrots and celery for soup stock.

"Anything interesting about your holidays?" Rocco asked as he was getting dried pots and pans in their place in the bare white kitchen. It was bright and clean, all around. They were in white as if they were ready to do surgery on dinner.

"Oh..." She could have mentioned Ben, but she didn't. As it was, she'd been avoiding her phone, thinking why bother. He probably wouldn't call. And what if..what if it was only going to be these little one nighters with him? Well, the duration wasn't exactly small. Were things really any better between them? Possibly, she was reading too much into the situation. Still, she thought Ben's lips were sexy, and she wished for his gray blue eyes to gaze at her. This instant. All though, she didn't feel beautiful at the moment. "You know..." She gave Rocco a quick smile.

"No, I don't know. Exactly. I mean, you listen to me, go on about my dog. You probably think I have a thing for my dog." He shrugged.

"Well, you are sleeping with her." She smirked as she scrapped the veggies into the boiling vat.

Rocco rolled his eyes. "True, Ollie makes a good bed partner." He grinned. "So much calmer in bed, than Lizzy ever was." He took the cutting board and knife she'd been using. He rinsed the residue and put it in the steal dishwasher.

Next they went to cut up chicken parts, removed the skins.

Molly tried her best to continue working. She guessed Rocco wasn't seeing anyone. His girlfriend for five years left him. Rocco was  the kind who believed in lasting relationships. He'd known Lizzy since they were both 13. Now, he was going solo at 24. She wondered if he were really OK. Perhaps, it was best not to know everything about him.

Soon enough, he was talking about some band they should see, together. They should do something together. Even, go to the dog park with him and Ollie. Still, she never saw him after hours. She kept herself from seeing how good he might actually look in jeans and a real button down shirt. How beautiful he might be with his thick dark hair down. No, maybe she saw Rocco at his worst. His hair tied back, and in a hairnet. He certainly saw her, raw without make up, working up a sweat in her chief's hat. Perhaps it was good to keep it that way. Just friends. Sort of the way of keeping things with Ben. But that changed? Hadn't it?

Nothing really ever changed. Even if it did, maybe it was best not to notice.

Ben and Molly

Time. Time was slipping away. Ben knew it the moment he stepped out of that door. Molly didn't follow. She'd dismissed him as if they were just old school chums. Nothing more. Nothing less.

His heart felt as if it were about to explode. He waited. At least a minute or so, but thought it best to walk on. Of course, he regretted it very much because once he got back to his home there was a lot of explaining to do.

Ben listened to his worried mother. How she almost called the police. She should have. This lead to him being more disagreeable with her. All the while, he wanted to call, text Molly. Do something. But he was caught up in the house and the after math of Christmas. And what was he taking back to school with him?

There would be a new year. Would last year's old coat be enough? He half listened. Thinking of Molly. Wondering if she was mad at him. Or did she expect it?  A one off.

What would he do? Write a letter. Send her a gift card? It was totally wrong.

"I dunno if..if want to go back. " He'd told his mom. She yelled at him about how ungrateful he was.

"What are you thinking of doing? Joining the army? Well, I don't think so." Her words carried with him through the day. He didn't want to talk to her. And they knew something was different. They didn't say it. But he had a feeling they knew.

Only, it didn't stop his mom from the endless list to do. He needed to take someone to dance class. This one needed new soccer shoes. He was needed. He was here.

Finally, he texted  Molly, telling her he was sorry. Immediately, he thought she'd text back, but she didn't. And he felt bad, thinking she must have thought the worst. Thinking she was an after though,t now. Perhaps not even that.

If he took a second, he could remember her eyes, the way she looked at him. There were other parts, especially memorable. How her skin was so kissable. Strangely now, he thought of way her mouth moved and pressed against his. How she ate. That little smirk when he knew he got to her. He'd smile too. As if she was thinking about him. Right now.

Yet, the thunderstorm of home raged on, he couldn't get out of here fast enough. Suddenly, he had a new idea. He'd leave now. Something about his studies. A professor. Anything to get out of his family's grip. He knew he was suppose to enjoy his holiday break. But this was nothing like a holiday at his house.

He'd helped take the tree down. He'd helped with the roof drains.

"Come on, you have to let me go. Please?" Was that the magic word? Ben didn't leave anything unfinished.

Naturally, he had to wait after dinner to find out the verdict. He watched his parents talk among themselves. All the while he waited to hear from Molly. It was killing him, slowly. Just how was he going to make this work?

Another day past. Then another. It was worse than a bad case a flu.

Now Ben was beginning to think Molly was using him. She'd gotten what she wanted from him, evidently. Is that how it worked with modern girls these days? She wasn't even a woman's study major. Just Fickle. Would she only respond if she felt like it?

Ben and Molly

Molly couldn't help but remember last night. The thought of touching the dark hairs on his ankles, his arms...she sighed deeply..even his chest. And Ben was still here. She made an effort to manage the sizzling bacon.

She looked back to see Ben watching her in her cashmere robe which she should probably not be cooking in, but she didn't want to look too miserable doing her morning routine.

"I can't believe you do this every morning for you parents." Ben looked at her as if she was their slave.

"I don't do it, every morning. Just on the weekends." Did he not get it? She lived under their roof. Rent free. There was a certain obligation. They were her parents.

Soon enough, her Dad drifted in when he smelled the bacon. But he didn't look all that surprised to see Ben in the kitchen.

"Well, well...how's life treating you, Ben?" Her father shook his hand.

Molly felt a tad woozy as if her Dad knew more than he was letting him on.

"Just..just great." Ben managed. That's when Molly noticed the stubble on his face glisten in the morning light. Suddenly, she wondered how many times he shaved a day. And if he didn't? Could he possibly be a mountain man or maybe be in ZZ Tops?

Molly started the French toast while her Dad and Ben talked about the weather, the university where Ben was attending. Suddenly, Molly felt sad. Ben would be going back. She'd be cooking in the kitchen at the nursing home. It would be a faded memory soon.

If she were lucky, just one more last goodbye. And the sex might be better. Maybe she'd understand his twists and turns. Yet all the while, she yearned to feel the weight of him. His skin next to hers.

"Well, don't let that burn, Honey." Her mother said which brought Molly back to the reality of it all. She quickly got the French toast out of the pan. Her mother turned to Ben. "How did you get here?" She winced at him. "I don't see your truck, anywhere, out front."

"I was just taking..a...walk." He grinned.

"I didn't even hear the doorbell." She looked at him as if that was odd.

"Maureen, you know how you are, when you sleep." Molly's dad chuckled.

"Well, I can certainly hear, you, snoring. That's probably why I couldn't hear the doorbell." She went to pour herself some coffee.

Molly breathed easy once, again. All was back to normal. She served breakfast and they talked about local football. And why in the world didn't Ben ever play football? Ben said his mother never would let him. Yes, here they were back to Ben's mother.

Molly could imagine the first dance would never be with the bride at their wedding. But Ben's mother. Suddenly, Molly was filled with disgust. She couldn't eat another bite. There would always be Ben's mother to contend with. Was she ready for someone like that?

Ben and Molly

Ben wished he'd stayed asleep, but then, he wouldn't have had this moment with Molly, either..which was what he always wanted to wake up too.

Maybe, maybe if he were quick enough, he could go pee before anyone woke up.

"But.." Molly was wide-eyed now and she was not helping. He pressed his finger on her lips.

"Hold that thought." He whispered back. Ben made a mad dash, not even in his undies, to the bathroom. He hoped he remembered where the bathroom was. Of course, he thought it would take an eternity to pee. But it was the only noise he could hear in the house.

He smiled. He was going to get out of this alive. Not one bit of him would be scathed. What a happy thought. Of course, there was that matter about telling his parents where he'd been and what not. He sighed then thinking it was better to be at Molly's. He didn't want to go back.

Suddenly, he heard foot-steps creep along the hallway outside. He held his breath. Thank God, he was done with the toilet. Now was the moment to flush or not to flush. Perhaps, he'd  let it alone. What if that 'but' Molly spoke of..was BUT DON'T FLUSH THE TOILET. He was going with that one.

He looked out the bathroom window thinking he could jump from here. No. Too high. And his clothes were missing. And..had he forgot it was winter, in spite of the so called warm temps. It wasn't that warm.

The footsteps past. Ben made a quick run to Molly's room at the end of the hall.

"So..so how..how are we gonna do this?" He asked as softly as he could.

"I went to make coffee." She said.

"That was you?" He winced. "Jesus, you scared me. And for no reason." He didn't mean to snap.

"Look, I have to make breakfast." She shrugged.

"So ..so the 'rents are still asleep?" He still kept his voice light.

"I guess." She shrugged.

"OK." He smiled. He quickly got dressed. He was staying. Staying for breakfast.

Ben and Molly

I'll be gone tomorrow
That's when you wake up
to tell me you don't want me..-acid house kings

Molly couldn't help but notice the dark hairs on Ben's ankles. Speaking of which, he was a lot hairier than she imagined. Not that he was Bigfoot. Although, his feet were big. He's sleeping body took most of the bed. It was hard to imagine she'd slept next to him in her very cold room.

It was kind of all so clumsy, she now thought as she looked around her room at the mess on the floor that was there long before Ben. Clothes on the floor. What was left of Christmas. And her parents didn't even know he was here. Well, at least not yet.

Still, it was kind of fuzzy how it all came about.

1. he did move his truck from the driveway. He'd been so excited. He was going to spend the night. In fact, he'd moved his car in the far corner of Wal-Greens' parking lot. She imagined his folks thinking he was suicidal now. His last stop. Over the counter drugs at Wal-Greens and then walked off into a snowy oblivion. But, there was no snow and he was very much here, a very hot body in her bed.

2. oh..his determination. "I want us to do this." He'd said ever so breathlessly, when he returned. Which was actually kind of a shock to Molly. Of course, she didn't ask what the matter was with him. She just went with it. It was not a time to question him. Because, it was like watching her very own movie unfold, and she was the co-star. They'd fumbled in the dark. Kissed as if it were the key to everything. And it was. He was so warm. She shivered even now thinking she couldn't dare live outside these covers.

3. when her parents came home, she felt his body shake with laughter, perhaps like a new move in his way of getting closer to her. There really was no place to hide. At least, no one came to check on her. Not that she had a lock on her door. Although, she wished she did. Especially, now.

Just what were they going to do?

It was all of 7:30. Her parents still snoozing. But not for long.

"Please..please..please.." Molly whispered in his ear. "You have to go.." But he didn't budge, except he put his arm around her, hugging her close.

She thought of what her Mom's reaction would be. Especially, her dad. They could be out in the cold. Right now. Molly bit her bottom lip. Why wasn't she thinking? Why wasn't he thinking? They weren't drunk. This was...Molly sighed.

She sank into his warmth. It was good here. It was. His whiskers rubbed against her. It was tantalizing. Was it going to happen again? Yes, it was. Like a last call, perhaps.

She kissed his lips like candy, even if it were full of his morning breath. Honestly, she thought this might be the last time. Well, the last time ..until next year..she guessed..with a smile.

Ben and Molly

But baby I got to know,
Why your love is a joke.
Don’t worry about things that doesn’t make sense,
Are we lovers or are we friends?
Let me know!
Do you want me to go,
I worry about you all the time,
I want to ask you,
Baby, are you mine?
-acid house kings

"Well, what are we waiting for?" He could have pondered that question. Only, Ben didn't want to. They were here and no one was home.

"Its not like they went on vacation or something, they'll be home, any minute." Molly told him as she unlocked the door. Of course, the first thing Ben spotted in the dark when they got to livingroom was the Christmas tree. The lights were on and, he couldn't help but grin. It was just the two of them. Alone.

"Where are the presents?" He asked. It was a lovely tree, even if it were artificial white. There were red apples on it and the light was so modern and delicate. Definitely, not kid proof, like the one back at his house.

"Why do you want to know?" Her grin was impish and for a moment he thought she'd been a very naughty girl. He pulled her close as she fell into him and he kissed her, ever so gently.

"Have you been a bad girl?" He whispered in her ear, and for a moment he wasn't sure if she'd let him kiss her. again.

"If you must know, my grandparents sent a check. Dad cashed it, handed me over a couple of hundred dollar bills, and I shopped." She looked up as him as if he might judge her.

"You shopped?" What was the fun in that? OK, he wasn't a girl, and he guessed he shouldn't have asked. His fingers were soon touching her hair. Perhaps he'd gotten his Christmas wish. Although, he didn't think he'd exactly wished on a star or anything. But, it was good to finally be alone with Molly. Honestly, he didn't think it might be possible. Not this Christmas, anyway. Actually, he'd been thinking on it for a couple of Christmases now. But the timing was all wrong. To hell with timing, he thought now as they kissed their way to the couch. There he thought would be a lovely place to let her know, he hadn't forgotten to get her anything for Christmas.

He pulled the locket from his pocket. It was a heart. He bought it actually for Valentines day since he wasn't exactly banking on Christmas happening.

"See, you didn't think I'd get you anything, did you?" He dangled it in the Christmas light. Soon she held it in her hand for a closer look. Her smile was shy and she didn't say anything.

"You know, I love the CD mixes. I always do. Every one of them. I play a new one, each month." He told her it was kind of like a calender of music. "I start to think, what were you were doing when you made that mix for me. 12 songs for every month." He smiled with his arm around her. Suddenly, it felt as if all was right with the world.

Here he was with the girl he'd been thinking about. Yet, had never told her nearly as much as he wanted too. Was it too late to start? Are was the time right?

His lips touched the softness of her face and for a moment, he didn't know where he was. Didn't care what time it could be. This was the only place he wanted to be, with Molly.

Ben and Molly

From a distance, he didn't look half bad. Like maybe he was worth it. Just maybe. Molly caught herself lingering by the new books at the library.

"Well, come on, we don't have all night." Ben motioned for her. They were here for DVDs, not to find the love connection.

Molly eye-balled him. He eye-balled her back.

"Remember, we are looking for Christmas movies or BOLT." He was serious. Even now. Why was family so important? Molly dragged herself away from the blond guy that she might have gone to high school with, she thought now.

Ben was home from college. Just an old friend, who texted her like mad for three days about all the things they'd do, but as it was, not a date yet. Only this last minute thing, getting movies at the library. Molly hugged herself. She bet he had someone back at the University. He liked to talk, but not about everything.

At the moment, she felt in limbo. Was this even worth the effort?

Oh, the excitement building. Ben coming home. She knew not to get her hopes up. He was a friend, always would be. But it would be nice if something clicked.

"Why are we looking for BOLT?" She got why about the Christmas movies. But BOLT? That was an animated kids' movie.

"Because, my grandmother loves that movie." Ben looked over at her, his lanky self had the poorest posture, but possibly that was a signal. Probably not. Molly was beginning to think, he wasn't anything like she remembered. Maybe she needed new glasses.

He was wearing his loyal high school purple hoodie, and his cargo shorts. He braved the cold while Molly wore a slouchy tam and a scarf with her blue plaid coat that matched her lite blue eyes. She even wore her snowboots, just in case a blizzard might happen.

Molly scanned the DVDs as she hugged herself. Waiting. Kind of annoyed. Why was it always like this?

She spent her days at a dining hall in a nursing home. It was pretty gray there. And she was saving up to go back to cooking school. She'd wanted to bartend but her parents wouldn't hear of it. She heard they made really good money. Her friend Steve said they were making more than he was at the motel where he worked.

That's what she needed to be focused on. Making more money.

She thought of all the things she could be talking to Ben about, but here they were in the library. Well, she was waiting. Perhaps something exciting might happen in the last fifteen minutes with Ben, while parked in the driveway.

Molly knew she was behind in life. Way behind. Some of her friends she'd gone to high school with were having their second kid. Some were already divorced. And here she was waiting for a little something to happen with Ben who couldn't decide between WHITE CHRISTMAS or CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT.

"I'm gonna be Micky's best man. He's getting married in January." Ben finally said.

Molly needed to think who that was.

"Is he the one who's Dad went to jail?" Molly winced trying to remember what he looked like.

"I think so. But he went to jail too." Ben nodded.

"And you want to be his best man?" Molly shook her head.

"Well, no one else will do it. Its at that indoor water park." He licked his dry lips. No, she was sure that was not a signal for anything. She yawned.

"You could come." He shrugged.

"I dunno." Was he asking her out? A serious date. "I wouldn't have anything to wear."

"Its just casual." He was slumping more. Suddenly, she imagined him an old man. Would they still be having these long drawn out conversations about nothing? Still?

"I guess." She shrugged. She didn't really see it happening because a lot of things always fell through with Ben.

She thought of her mother and how she'd put the math together. "You'll be old and gray before you get him. He's a solo act, honey." She'd told her.

Now Molly looked up at Ben, not wanting to give up hope. But she might have too.

"You sure..there..there might be someone back at the University-"

"Who?" He laughed. "God, I can't believe you." He went to check out the five DVDs then with his mother's library card.

"Well, I dunno." Molly gave him a scowl as she stood there with him. Not that she wanted to mention last New Years when she got shitfaced and woke up the next morning with Joel from down the street who was just in town to meet some woman he'd met online. He was from out of state. It wasn't that she remembered much of what happened. But that was as good as it got last year.

"What are you trying to tell me? You've got a boyfriend, don't you?" Ben decided.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend." Molly rolled her eyes as they walked out into the cold. "I'm not seeing anyone." And that was the truth. Yet, there was Rocco who ran the dishwasher at work, and he was always leaving her little candies around and smiling as if she were the queen of the kitchen. And Steve who she usually bumped into once a week down at the grocery store. He was always happy to see her and she was glad he was there in produce to tell her what vegetables were best in season.

There was still Ben's Christmas gift to give him. 12 CD mixes. She saved them up. Each month she'd burn him one. Even if he had his trusty iPod, a fingers touch, for just about everything. And she'd made him a little pillow this year out of an old T-shirt from when they were in Blithe Spirit, along with a bag of his favorite mint candies. Of course, she wouldn't get a thing from him. She never did. Unless she counted the little teddy-bear he won at the county fair, a couple of years ago.

But now she'd made him mad. She didn't know why a lump pushed up in her throat so. For what? It wasn't worth it. How she'd wanted to see him. But this was the reality of it.

They climbed into the old pickup truck.

"I'm sorry, I like ..you..so much." She began. It was really a hard speech not quite developed. Just bits on her mind. She guessed. Molly wasn't sure she had the energy to get through it. A part of her wanted to get out of the truck and walk home. "Here." She didn't need to explain it. She gave him the little gift bag. All the CDs in artsy covers and little ribbons.

She pressed her lips tight. She doubted her breath was even minty fresh, anymore. And she really didn't care. He started up the truck and let it warm up. Naturally, he was quiet. Hardly a sigh from him. He stared at the bag.

Molly thought of the boy who loved her. Freddie. He'd gotten her fancy stockings for Christmas. It was kind of an odd gift. She was in eighth grade back then. His glasses were so Harry Potter, and his body quivered when he kissed her. She couldn't stand it. It was creepy. But she liked the gift. Possibly, the best gift she'd ever gotten from a guy.

Molly bit her upper lip. She was not a bad girl. Not really. On occasion she'd go to a party. Drink like everyone else. But usually, she was the one who helped clean up, afterwards. She watched life go by. Perhaps, she was hoping they'd get past this. The tension. The quiet times.

He drove toward the intersection. It was a green light but he hardly went. It was all so slow. She could be home in five minutes. But he didn't take a turn toward her street.

"Let me drop these DVDs off. Then..then we can go out." He said.

"OK." She liked the idea. She could sit right here while he went in. Keep the truck warming. But he turned off the engine. She didn't budge, but he came around and opened the door for her.

"It won't take but a minute." She didn't believe a word he said. Molly sat there as if he needed to fix the door or something. "You coming?"

"Oh." She cleared her throat. They didn't hold hands.

Of course, there were a houseful. His parents became foster parents after Ben and his sister went off to college. There were a lot of noisy kids. And everyone wanted BOLT. Naturally, they pulled Molly in more. There were sugar cookies. Had she seen the big sausage log that somebody gave his Dad from work. There was a cheese ball too. Wasn't she hungry?

Molly did her best to muster up a smile. They wanted her to take off her coat. Her hat, too.

"Oh, she's not dying her hair, anymore!" His mother got a laugh out of that. "She used to be so goth." His mother shook her head as she was telling who ever would listen, how Molly used to dress. "Black was her only color."

Suddenly, Molly felt so claustrophobic. There were too many kids. Just so many people. How could she get out of this? It was stifling in their house. They didn't keep the temperature down, like her parents. One wore a sweater to bed at her house.

Molly was losing her smile quick.

"I need to leave." She said near Ben, but he wasn't listening. She leaned in more. And then, he linked his pinky with hers. His smile didn't seem quite real.

"My Mom, can't stand you." He chuckled.

"Don't say that, Ben!" His mother was pointing her finger at him now. Evidently, there was a little wine or something in what they were drinking. "That's so not true."

"No, its true." Ben was smiling. "She keeps asking me if you have tattoos or any new piercings." He cracked into laughter.

Molly felt a little light headed. Maybe she'd have some cheese ball yet, even if she was trying to stop eating dairy.

"Come on, lets get out of here." He took her hand, leaving her coat and hat behind.

"But, but its so cold, outside." She grabbed her stuff on the way out.

"Lets go to your house." He decided.

"But I thought we were going out?" Molly scrunched a frown.

Ben was in a hurry now. He backed out of the driveway as if they needed to get out of town fast. Molly stared out of the passenger window wondering what Ben had in mind. Was he crazy? No, his mom was crazy. His mom could make anyone crazy, in fact. But he just left. Molly looked at Ben.

They'd never actually held hands. Until now. Well, they'd been close. Sort of. She guessed. But now it was as if she needed to read his mind. And she didn't know what he was thinking as he sped around corners and barreled into the empty driveway. No one was home at Molly's.