So there is more to life that just Life with Derrick. A far cry from the TV show..I must admit.
He’s better. I think. I’m trying to look at the good. Not the bad. These past few weeks.
I’m doing more shelving at the library. Isn’t that crazy? Now if mom wouldn’t drive me crazy.
1. She thinks I’m spending way too much time with Derrick. But he needs me. He does. No one seems to know what he’s been through nor going through, but me. So maybe..yes..I have let down Josie. I can’t be on both sides at once. I just can’t. And what is my Mom so terribly mad about. huh? My grades are OK. School is practically over for summer.
2. What about band? OK, mom means marching band. Which I so don’t care about, actually. Not anymore. That is just Freshman stuff. Like, Oh..I can make a difference with my school spirit. Where did I ever get that line? So OK, I have not played chess with the chess club in like forever. Why would I ever want to do that when I can play CHEST with someone..hahaha..I know. Silly me.
So maybe the dumb just got dumber. I can’t help it. Derrick’s like no one I’ve ever met before. And we do have some great times. I have to just keep remembering those.
BUT..sometimes..well..he does scare me. OH GOD..I get so scared. And I dunno when it might happen. Actually.
I know he wants me. I want him. But he can get so weird. Freakn’ weird. Like ..he might not even be the Derrick I know. And..yeah, I’m afraid..he’s gonna hurt me. Even though, he swears he won’t.
He slapped me once. Well, he’s hit me a couple of times. Its like he’s playing around. And you know, he’s just being funny. Maybe. I want to think that, but then I don’t.
I guess its all my fault. I just can’t be there for him...ENOUGH.
But..but I’m really trying to get on at the library. And I try to make him understand..that..that I need to do this.
Yet..its all about him. I dunno when to stay away. You know, from Josie. He doesn’t want me too close to her. I guess. And then, she looks as me as if I’m the one who should be GUILTY. What did I do?
God, I’m an emotional wreck. And..I can’t be. I can’t. I can’t let anyone know that.
He’s better. I think. I’m trying to look at the good. Not the bad. These past few weeks.
I’m doing more shelving at the library. Isn’t that crazy? Now if mom wouldn’t drive me crazy.
1. She thinks I’m spending way too much time with Derrick. But he needs me. He does. No one seems to know what he’s been through nor going through, but me. So maybe..yes..I have let down Josie. I can’t be on both sides at once. I just can’t. And what is my Mom so terribly mad about. huh? My grades are OK. School is practically over for summer.
2. What about band? OK, mom means marching band. Which I so don’t care about, actually. Not anymore. That is just Freshman stuff. Like, Oh..I can make a difference with my school spirit. Where did I ever get that line? So OK, I have not played chess with the chess club in like forever. Why would I ever want to do that when I can play CHEST with someone..hahaha..I know. Silly me.
So maybe the dumb just got dumber. I can’t help it. Derrick’s like no one I’ve ever met before. And we do have some great times. I have to just keep remembering those.
BUT..sometimes..well..he does scare me. OH GOD..I get so scared. And I dunno when it might happen. Actually.
I know he wants me. I want him. But he can get so weird. Freakn’ weird. Like ..he might not even be the Derrick I know. And..yeah, I’m afraid..he’s gonna hurt me. Even though, he swears he won’t.
He slapped me once. Well, he’s hit me a couple of times. Its like he’s playing around. And you know, he’s just being funny. Maybe. I want to think that, but then I don’t.
I guess its all my fault. I just can’t be there for him...ENOUGH.
But..but I’m really trying to get on at the library. And I try to make him understand..that..that I need to do this.
Yet..its all about him. I dunno when to stay away. You know, from Josie. He doesn’t want me too close to her. I guess. And then, she looks as me as if I’m the one who should be GUILTY. What did I do?
God, I’m an emotional wreck. And..I can’t be. I can’t. I can’t let anyone know that.
Henry should see Josie whenever he wants - no one should tell him what to do.
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