The Lost Journal

This is more or less a character study. Perhaps a little creative nonfiction, too. Although, the person remains anonymous. Its from 2006 so there are a few things about that time period in the journal too.

1

I've decided I'm not going home. Only, I can't stay here. I think I messed up my brother's girlfriend's parents' downstair's bathroom. The commode won't stop running.

Maybe I can blame this on my brother, but I don't want to make him mad. Its good that he let me stay as long as he has.

He's going to college tomorrow so I have to leave.

I'd had it out with Dad. Well, he started it. I thought the worst was going to happen when he knocked the door down, but I guess I should have let him hit me instead of being on the phone to Harvey.

Naturally, Dad said I overreacted. Me, the drama queen. Luckily, Harvey didn't buy it, but he didn't make an issue of it, either. He came and picked me up Friday night and I got to spend the weekend with his girlfriend and friends. They're getting ready for their freshman year. So there was a party and all. Real normal stuff. I hated to spoil that.

So now, I have to go back and hope and pray he won't start in about driver's ed again.

2

I'm home. Dad's out. All is well with the world. I guess.

I don't think Harvey's girlfriend's parents like me. I kind of made a mess in their bathroom. Yes, it did overflow. After all.

Like I needed to make a bad impression right now. I definitely need more places to go than being here with him. Dad's a walking time bomb. I know what he can do. I was there when it happened to Harvey. He really should have pressed charges, but last minute he changed his mind. College. Maybe Francine(his girlfriend) made him do it.

I want to stop thinking about it. I want school to start. I want my room to be a different color. I really don't want to be here. Especially, when the lock on my door isn't fixed. Actually, the whole door is fucked up. I don't know what to do about that.

Ok, I took my shower. Maybe if I act like I'm asleep everything is going to be just fine.



3


Jonas just left. He fixed the door. Yeah, he's handy that way. He watches a lot of HGTV with his Mom. I guess. Go figure.

He's an all right guy. I've known him off and on since 6th grade. I guess. So we go way back, and he lives in the neighborhood. Probably even a better brother than Harvey.

If I don't call him ever so often then he bugs me. My summer has kind of been full which he envies. I tell him not too. Cause really, it wasn't that great. Only I can't convince him.

OK, so maybe he didn't get to go to the beach like I did. But really, it wasn't fun at all. I had to spend it with Tilly and her folks. It was anything but fun. She's really boy crazy these days. And it gets so disgusting, being around her when she gets like that. She totally became a freak over this one dude, just because she liked his abs and his car. So I was like the 3rd wheel during the whole time. Not fun. Seriously.

So I had to spend time with her stupid little brother who is so damn quiet. It really bothers me when he won't say anything. I just need somebody to talk too, you know, sometimes.

But as it is, Jonas came over when I called this morning. Checked out my door, even put in a new lock. Ha! hahahaaaaa..I have a key to my room now that my Dad doesn't have.

Of course, he completely ignored me last night. He was asleep in his chair when I got home. He never budged. Its like I never used my own money for driving school now (which he claimed to be his btw..which it wasn't because that was my babysitting money). The dude will not work anymore. I don't get it. But whatever.

Just 3 days til school starts. Jonas said he'd take me to Wal-greens for some last minute things like face wash, pens and paper. Its just.. I really have no money to spend, but it would be nice for the ride.

4

I didn't sleep at my house last night. Why spoil a bad thing, I say. Its still summer. Just a few days til school starts.

Jonas said we'd go shopping today. Hope he won't forget. So I'm going home shortly. Maybe do laundry. You know, boring stuff like that. Even clean the kitchen. Since my Auntie L says maybe Dad would like that kind of stuff. Keep his mind off money. She also says the way to his heart is through his stomach. Of course, she believes in this to be the route to go for boys, as well. I think I heard her says "her steamboat"..maybe that's "dreamboat" once, which still puzzles me. What the hell was she talking about? Probably from some song she remembers in the 80's. Strange to me, anyhow.

Anyway, Candy is still snoozing. She would be. I should check on the twins today. They've been visiting their grammies this week. Usually, I'm with them. Its my babysitting gig. Actually.

OK, I'm off before Candy's Mom comes down here to the basement and finds out what I'm doing on their computer.

tah tah!