Jesse was pretty sure he was bad at ending things. Of course, he didn't know how to start much either. But it had been winter break and it was coming to an end. He hoped Chealsea would figure it out. After all, it was one of those things that was never supposed to happen again. After all, she was the one who said she wanted to make a change.
Sure, he'd listened. She didn't like herself. She wanted to who she really was. Only, it was kind of like listening to someone talk as if they were an alien who wanted to go back home. He guessed. Maybe he wasn't listening at all. But after all, they were alone, just at the coffee place. Actually, they weren't supposed to be here, but had met up with a couple of friends from school in between Christmas and New Year's. Naturally, they were the only stragglers.
Everyone else was a couple. Even Sid and Nancy were together, which surprised everyone, but they were in twins teddy bear hoddies and jet black hair. If anyone knew how to be together it was those two. Naturally, they weren't cracking that mystery.
"So what will you do?" Jess asked back then while Chealsea was cradling what was left of her black coffee. Her fingers were so long. He imagined she played the piano or maybe something musical. He kept staring at her fingers while she told him she was ready for the procedure.
Oh, it made his teeth hurt just listening to all the medications she'd be on, and the surgery alone. He winced now. Was that why he went back to her place? Was it just a challenge or just his ways to say, "Don't do it! Leave well enough alone."
He didn't want to think he loved her. They were just friends from art class. Still, it wasn't something they were going to tell their friends about. It was their secret.
"It's not a big deal," she said now, but he was confused.
"Huh?" He winced a face of possible regret or just slight sadness as they waited together for the others, before lockdown, perhaps. "You mean.." He kept his mouth swelled shut as he looked at her. "Do you even have the money for all this?"
"I am going to sell some things," Chelsea told him.
"But you haven't yet." He placed his hand on top of hers.
"But I will." Even when she said it, he was sad.
"You don't really even have breasts..maybe.." he winced, thinking he should be supportive, but all he wanted to do was to run away and cry himself asleep.
Her look was ever so strange. He kissed her cheek and hugged her so.
"Maybe, you could wait another year." He whispered in her ear. Wasn't she afraid of infectious diseases and lord knows where this pandemic might go?
Meanwhile, everyone showed up.
"God, we were wondering if this would ever happen," smiled Nancy and of course, Sid got everyone to cheer them on.
No comments:
Post a Comment